Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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