put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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