dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
