why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
