I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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