I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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