You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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