Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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