Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
