i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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