FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
