DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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