When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i think i have herpe
just one?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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