A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
