just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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