i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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