And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
