Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
