names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Houston, we have a blender
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
