So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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