why didn't you poke me back
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
