I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
