Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
