I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm passing your future prison.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
