Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
zippers are such a cool invention
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
