either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
