They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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