I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
