Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
