I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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