he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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