Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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