3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize