Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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