I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
