Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
