i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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