It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
