i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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