i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
