Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
