dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize