May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
