I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
