Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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