don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
