I could have mohawked her pubes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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