I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
