well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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