Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
