you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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