Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
