check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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