some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Everyone says I win the strip club
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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