the condom got lost in my hair
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
