but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This show inspires me to have sex in space
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
