My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
