worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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