So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
