I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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