Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
