Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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