youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
