new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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