I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize