i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I AM VODKA MAN
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
